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If I said self-esteem could do wonders for your self-esteem you’d probably think I was pulling your leg, or I made a mistake in typing. I did not.

Many feel that a person is born with it, or maybe was popular in grade school and held onto that for the rest of their lives, always succeeding at whatever due to public support. If only that were so, we’d all have an excuse to frown and be depressed most the time.

This is actually not the case at all. The beauty you had a crush on in high school who maybe relied mainly on beauty for self-esteem later becomes an adult, has children and stretch marks, and a bad marriage. She escapes into television and maybe chemical dependence. It doesn’t always happen that way, but more regularly than you may think.

Much is expected of children of successful and/or famous parents. One thinks this may give them a “free ride” onto the high self-esteem track when it usually does just the opposite. In fact, many rebel and get into destructive habits to find their own voice, and never grow out of it. No self-esteem found here

So basically, self-esteem can (and will) do wonders for your self-esteem. That might not make sense if you feel your self-esteem hashas been compromised for a reason outside of your control. You become fearful of life. You become isolated and scared to try new things. It becomes a viscious cycle. But, self-esteem can be learned for the first time, or for the second time in a different way. Adult self-esteem is not the same as a child’s and not always gotten in the same fashion.

Maybe you were the football jock who lifted weights regularly and was applauded every time you blocked a tackle. You kept your grades up and you got more positive feedback. This helped your esteem very much. Later in life, you landed a high paying marketing job and you hate it. The pay all goes to an ungrateful wife who spends it on fashions and takes vacations with her girlfriends. Where did your self-esteem go?

The truth is, as adults, we more often than not, have to create our own self-esteem. And the closer we get to knowing our real selves, the closer we get to higher self-esteem. We no longer get all the unconditional love, attention, and acknowledgment of our deeds we did when we were younger. It builds by the little things we do. Try it, keep a journal, and look at it next year. Read the whole year and see how dramatically you have changed for the better.

It may mean, on a day you are feeling lowest, you pick yourself up and go to a soup kitchen and volunteer. Maybe a nursing home and visit with the elderly. Tutor a kid with his/her homework. Do something positive to get outside of yourself. You will not get back your self-esteem most likely in one day. But if you find yourself making it a habit of helping others, you will slowly find your self-esteem rising. It is a natural consequence of helping others and getting outside oneself. Maybe it’s physics. Maybe its the way the universe operates. But it works for many.

Iwith depression and low-self-esteem since my teen years (even when I was a popular kid). I always felt alone, even with people. Then I grew up. I became an adult. All of a sudden I was in my late forties. How did it all happen so fast. It was a blur. But now, I’d had a major heart attack and I was keenly aware of my mortality. Heart attack? That was what other people had, not me. I guess everyone thinks that. So I took a week and analyzed my life. I took, (as Richard Dreyfus’ book in ‘What About Bob?’, baby steps. I studied. I researched. I learned. I even went back to college online. Online colleges lured some of them and they continue to study.

Adulthood has been my first stab at self-esteem. I never could manage to do it in my youth. Now I have a few tools.

With all the obstacles and challenges I have endured in my life, and I am certain there are many others who have much tougher stories, if I can do it, anyone can. I just take a little time out of each day and do something to build my self-esteem. I may do a lot of other things incorrectly, but I try to learn to do them right, and still, I take time for myself to do just a little something positive for me or someone else, or both, with no thought of compensation.

I’m a slow learner, but in ten years, I’ve accomplished a thousand times more than I did in my first forty-three years.

I created the largest cartoon site o the Internet which makes people feel good. I then launched nine gift stores; LTSuperstore, RickLondonCollection, Justfunnygreetingcards,Justfunnycoffeemugs, Justfunnyaprons, Mirthgirthbirth, RickLondonwear, Justfunnymousepads, Justfunnyhoodies, etc. Surfers stop at my stores and often order either for themselves or a friend or family member. Laughter is a great self-esteem builder and is quite bonding.

Being around humor makes us feel “lighter”. It is human nature to want to laugh. We should laugh. Laughter, like crying, are both very important releases. And they both put us in touch with our feelings. And our feelings put us in touch with who we are. And when we know who we are, we have our self-esteem.

So, as I said, self-esteem can do wonders for your self-esteem. Build some today. Baby steps.

Last 5 posts by Rick London

• A Thong In My Heart - January 26th, 2008
• Why People Should Salute The Far Side’s Gary Larson….still - January 22nd, 2008
• How The Internet Leveled The Playing Field For The Disabled - January 19th, 2008
• Happiness: As Good As It Gets - January 19th, 2008
• It’s All Gary Larson’s (the Far Side) Fault - January 17th, 2008