Reprinted Articles

I’m guessing this has never happened to you (or to anybody in the history of the world ever). You’re driving down the freeway, maybe a little too fast, and you get pulled over by a police officer. The officer walks up to your car, you roll down the window, and he says, “I’m so sorry to bother you, but I think maybe a slight infraction of the law has occurred. . . I’m wondering if you wouldn’t mind showing me your license and registration. I’m so sorry to inconvenience you here.”

Yeah. . .that’s never happened. Why? Well, law enforcement doesn’t concern themselves with your inconvenience or worry about offending you or bothering you. They don’t operate within the frame of concerning themselves with your experience of them. They operate from the perspective that they are in charge and that you will do exactly as they tell you to do. They operate with the assumption that they have all the power in any interaction of this kind and they’re quite comfortable in their use of this power.

Maybe not all officers are that extreme but I’m exaggerating a little to make my point.

Frames which we set for ourselves or which other people set for us, influence each and every interaction we have–whether it be business, personal, romantic, or other.

This doesn’t mean we have to pull power trips on people. Absolutely not. This simply means that when we come to the table, we have to have our resolve strong and our place in the negotiations set. I’m not going to approach a potential new student with, ‘Well, I’m pretty sure I’ll be able to give you a little advice to help learn persuasion and how to increase sales. . .’ Heck no! First of all, I know full and well that I’m absolutely certain I can teach anyone to increase sales through persuasion. There’s no beating around the bush. I’m not shy about these things. How good a persuader would I be if I were shy about my ability to help people?

When we consciously frame a situation, we can see how the situations in which we’re involved are shaped, showing how the frames operate and dictate the behavior of those we’re persuading and influencing.

We have the frame of the sales person and the prospective client. One frame that operates is, ‘Prove to me why I need you or why I should use you.’ That might be a frame that the client is coming from. A frame that the adviser might adopt might be, ‘I am the expert in this field and so I work with people who understand that and can take advantage of what I tell them.’

Those are both relatively strong frames. But suppose you started out with a frame of, ‘Shucks, I’m not really anybody. I’m working to survive here. I don’t really know that much. I got lucky and happened to get my license and now I am fortunate enough to represent a few big companies. Maybe there’s something I can do to help you.’

Would you sign up with that guy? Heck no.

Before your next meeting, think about the frames that you’re using when you meet with the people around you.

Last 5 posts by Kenrick Cleveland

• Future Hope - July 7th, 2008
• Let's Get Emotional - June 5th, 2008
• The Core Exposed - June 5th, 2008
• Persuading from The Zone - June 3rd, 2008
• Misery Loves to Spend - April 29th, 2008

Tags: Business