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Expectations are important in life as they form the foundation of our conduct and behavior. Parents have expectations that form a vague picture of what their children should grow up to be. These expectations are formed unconsciously from our own wants and desires.

As parents, you have to pause and evaluate your expectations from your children once in a while to see if they are reasonable or not. It is, of course, very difficult to come to any definite conclusion about them, but you must try to have positive and reasonable expectations otherwise there will be frustration for all concerned.

How do you know if an expectation is reasonable? The first thing to do is research. Does it seem like a lot of work? It just might be. Parenting isn’t easy. You make it up as you go along, based on the foundations and parenting advice left to you by others and your own heart to guide you.

And, inside, look at yourself objectively, or put yourself in the shoes of the child and you will get a fairly good idea whether it is you or your children who are being unreasonable.

If you know your child is doing his or her best in school, and they are an average student, expecting average grade work is reasonable because they are doing their best and you know it’s their best. Child behavior expectations take a bit of common sense. And it is important to establish reasonable expectations of your children.

Frustration is the other side of the coin of expectation. Unreasonable expectations will lead to serious disappointment. Allow your child to grow freely within the accepted framework of society and don’t impose unnecessary standards that must be achieved. This way, you will automatically cut out child behavioral problems.

Of course, you must set reasonable expectations in child behavior or child discipline in different areas. After that you should formulate a set of goals and hold to them. Let your child know when he meets those expectations by rewarding him. This will help you take him further on the road to success, but at his pace, not yours.

The key to parenting is to remember not to push your desires onto your children. It often happens that parents impose their own unfulfilled dreams on their children and expect them to achieve what they failed to do in their lifetime. Nothing can be worse than this. So, take some time out and look at your expectations and assess how reasonable they are. Reasonable expectations promote growth and positive self image and are an essential parenting skill.

Last 5 posts by Dr. Noel Swanson..

• Solving child behavior and child discipline problems - April 1st, 2008
• Working together - Team Work as a Parenting Skill - March 28th, 2008

Tags: Family